English used to be my best subject in school. I always enjoyed reading, writing and language. I love poetry but don’t get to write it a lot anymore – I love writing in general, but it is hard to find the time for it now -a- days.
Being a stay-at-home mom, you can start to feel as though you are living an endless cycle of cooking and cleaning up after other people, you can start to feel as though your living your life to take care of others’ needs.
I’ve found, I have had to develop very good habits to accomplish the goals in life that I have set for myself and still be the best mom I know how.
Sometimes, it means giving up that extra half hour or hour of sleep before the kids get up in the morning, so I can get up before everyone and have a shower, read my bible, exercise, write, sew – because I know that those are the things that are important to me- as a woman, as an individual – as someone other than a ‘mom’. I’ve learned that I know how I feel when I don’t accomplish the goals I have set for myself, I’ve learned how I feel when I don’t exercise and meditate daily, I’ve learned how I feel when I don’t take care of myself – And it’s just not worth it anymore… I’ve learned that to be a good mom to my children, a good wife to my husband – that I need to take care of myself first. To prevent resentment towards my children and my husband for ‘giving up my life’ – I make a conscience effort to accomplish my goals as well – so I feel whole as a woman, and have an identity other than being a mom. One day, my children will leave…( as all children are supposed to! you never know whats going to happen though…lol) And I will need something to occupy my time, other than taking care of them. That is part of the reason I am building an identity as not just a mother, but for myself, as a seamstress, a writer/author, a strong woman, a mother and a wife.
I know that I will never get this time back with my kids. They grow fast. Our lives are like the morning fog…here one instant and gone the next…So while they need me – there are also things I need to do for myself – so that I can be the best version of myself – for them.
In order to take care of the people around you, must take care of yourself first.
I never understood this when I was a young Mom, I thought it meant you had to be selfish – always making sure your own needs were met before other people’s – But that is not what it means at all.
It means accomplishing your goals and dreams in life so that you feel fulfilled, content and full, so you can give of yourself more freely to the ones who need you.
Because, as a stay at home mom, it’s so easy to fall into resenting your family and husband, to fall into resenting them for being the reason you were not able to accomplish your dreams in life.
I have decided instead to work on accomplishing my goals and developing good habits ( A story for another day) So that I can be the best version of myself for my family and those around me.